Survivor Art Warning

Keep in mind that survivor art is not about beauty. It reveals trauma...sometimes in a subtle way. Sometimes rather graphically. The beauty, to me, is in being a witness to my own healing from the images given to me by formerly traumatized and even suicidal alters.

Please use caution in viewing this site. I'm proud to be sufficiently healed to share this art (most of which was done from 1997 to 2000). All depicted in the images have integrated. This is me when I was "we".


Profile Art Reflects Healing

Pretty Healing

Pretty Healing by grace2244 (catch up mode) on

The top image was a self-portrait from about a month ago. I found the red door in the neck to be interesting. Dark but light coming through. I've working intensely on healing from a part of me who had remained hidden until within a week of my birthday three days ago. 

My previous two integrations happened on my birthday so I knew this part of me was going to heal either by merging/blending/integrating. I'm not sure the term matters. I didn't feel anything in particular but my struggling depression seemed to lift immensely on the 19th and has stayed that way. Three good days in a row is a celebration. Am hoping it's a permanent good change. Don't think too many secrets hidden that go with alters not yet found.

I did the second portrait yesterday. Face is taped together...happier color, but still not completely healed shown by the split at the top. One side with a flower, the other rather dark. Still, feel like the broken healing of 2007 is nearly repaired plus I reached this new level of healing I may not have found without the new trauma a few years ago...not that I welcome any trauma. Just happy for the deeper healing.


Not A Creature Was Stirring

This is a selection of sets that I initially just saw as Alice in Wonderland programming...lots of tea. But it was a real life experience in the past year that brought the meaning to me. Each morning I had my espresso and delighted in my tiny espresso spoons and stirring up the chocolate in the bottom of my morning caffeine.

Likely over the course of several months it dawned on me that I would stir my espresso and the next thing I knew I was on Polyvore and had forgotten to drink my espresso. Was always getting up to reheat it in the microwave. I was able to ask myself to show me what was happening. The last set in this post was my answer. Staring into the swirling of stirring my espresso caused me to dissociate if only a few seconds to blank out that I even wanted to drink it.

I was able to go back through many other sets with tea showing me dissociating from swirling steam or something else related to tea or coffee. It actually still happens but I try to remember not to look into the cup while I stir. Simple things that caused me to become someone else in the past. Thank goodness no harm comes from it now except for having cold espresso...or tea.