Someone New

Recently the woman in black with the pink background showed up in several sets. The first set shown is one I did just thinking I was randomly using a model. The second set  seemed as if the model on pink went with the bicycle wheel with pink petals. Finally I did the set which told me she was part of my subconscious world.

Since realizing she was one of me, I created two more sets until I identified her. I knew her from 1997 and magazine collages. She's my adult "Invisible Annie".

A Different Kind of Zen Space

Zen Space by grace2244

After overflowing with several trauma collages, it was lovely to work on this today.

State of Grace

State of Grace by grace2244

This collage is Grace showing me her life. To clarify any confusion, my first connection to the name was when I realized she was a part of me...one of many. In one of my earliest collages (in the late 90s) I show a little girl praying named Grace. The image was from behind. She was a shadow praying but about 4.

Though I didn't know what she looked like, I felt her. She's my Zen, loves pink, my muse. She became active after my first integration in 2000. Originally I had three graces. Now, I believe the last three adults on the lower right were her. One is wisdom, one is my femininity, one is my spirituality or helps in each of those areas. I didn't know when I gave myself the middle name of Grace that I would become Grace. Am liking being her.

Fusion

Fusion by grace2244


An artistic expression of my 12/2 integration and fusion.

Raven's World

Raven's World by grace2244

Apparently the third integration released a lot of need to communicate through art again. I love these healing "stories". Raven, who was so hardened and seemed emotionless, shows her trauma healing (the purple blob, Urban Decay eyeshadow, covered with flowers; blooms beginning to heal the craziness in lower right). It's a very peaceful collage to me. She's connecting to the little who is appearing in most (all?) of the collages I've been doing. Can't rave enough about Polyvore website.

Through the Looking Glass

Through the Looking Glass by grace2244

My healed core united with adult me with insiders peeking out. Trauma is healing as shown by the flowers growing over the once terrifying drain.

Begin again

Begin Again by grace2244

The story accompanying this collage is posted on Forbidden Topic as an example of transformational imagery as well as the power of the two trauma collages completed in the past few days focused on my Christmas distress. The good news is a great deal of trapped emotion was released and I'm feeling substantially more liberated.

Christmas Ballet

Decided to try to collage my current distress over the holiday. Didn't take too long to figure out the program.


Christmas Ballet by grace2244

In spin we trust

Last month I posted in Grace Uncensored how my system conveyed to me that someone in my workplace was giving instructions to an alter. With a large format collage, I was shown the job of the alter, the person providing the signal, and showing me the telephone was used to convey the signal. Images depicted the alter becoming dizzy while on the telephone. Knowing someone knew I grew up DID and trained was unnerving and I was terrified to return to work. Motivation for income allowed me to return...but how to be safe and stop responding?

Before returning to work from my short-term leave to pick myself up from the onslaught of early memories after my DID beginning to show, I found this single image in a magazine. Amazingly, in using images, survivors will find they begin to recognize alters because all of their images look like the same person even when it isn't the same model in the magazine. It might be a nudge from inside saying "that's her" or "that's me" or a feeling of knowing. Realizing this image went with the collage about my being used at work game me the piece I needed to no longer be triggered into the alter state. I described in my blog entry how I was able to disconnect from the cue. Scary stuff.