Survivor Art Warning

Keep in mind that survivor art is not about beauty. It reveals trauma...sometimes in a subtle way. Sometimes rather graphically. The beauty, to me, is in being a witness to my own healing from the images given to me by formerly traumatized and even suicidal alters.

Please use caution in viewing this site. I'm proud to be sufficiently healed to share this art (most of which was done from 1997 to 2000). All depicted in the images have integrated. This is me when I was "we".

1.29.2009

The New Jane

Jane's New World
Jane's New World - by grace2244 on Polyvore.com

I wondered who this was. Jane has always been very properly dressed and well coiffed. Apparently since our fusion she's gotten comfy in casual. I never know what the collage will be as I start. I felt the release in this one--remembering the trauma but finally achieving a true life. You can see her loves are the little things. Even that gorgeous little view out the window in Tuscany.

Divine Feminine

Divine Feminine
Divine Feminine - by grace2244 on Polyvore.com


Now that my "male" system has healed and fused, I'm feeling and seeing the acceptance of my own femininity. I'm still the same. I've gone overboard with pink for the past few years but my style hasn't changed. Of course, these past two years, my wardrobe has been predominantly jammies. Over 100 collages. Blogs are still suffering. Will be back with regular posts as soon as my brain lets me.

In the meantime, it's nice to see what is going on inside for all to heal and accept one mind, one body.

1.20.2009

Underground

Underground
Underground by grace2244

Since realizing what my life had been following onset of memories in 1997, I began to question the vacations I chose to take. It's my belief that my feeling obsessed to take a vacation on my own was likely a mission. In 1985 I took a bus tour from London through the beautiful English countryside ending up back in London. I've started to understand some of my "clue" images, but choose not to grasp what I might have been doing. Near one of the overnight stops was Menwith Hill, a military base shown in the collage on the right. What look like golf balls are satellites. My understanding is it is an NSA base where they do the same job I had been trained to do in the Air Force a decade earlier.

Their mission, all expenses paid by me. Possibly another reason for dissociative couriers or whatever the heck we did. No paychecks. I paid for everything connected with my trips thinking it was my idea. They always made perfect since at the time... FWIW, my vacation began from Philadelphia on July 4. Wimbledon was in progress that week. And my main mission for my one day in London was to buy a Burberry raincoat. I accomplished that objective and also bought a bag. I think Burberry's was my contact point. I spoke obsessively about that coat for months before the actual vacation. It rained so hard that day, they stopped the tennis and covered the courts. My recollection is I spent a lot longer in Burberry's than intended and wondered how it had gotten so late. hmmm.

1.18.2009

A Different Kind of Zen Space

Zen Space
Zen Space by grace2244

After overflowing with several trauma collages, it was lovely to work on this today.

1.17.2009

Hidden Worlds

Hidden Worlds
Hidden Worlds by grace2244

When I first began earnest work on undoing my conditioning, I became aware of a very complex internal structure with hidden passages and doorways and levels. I love this collage. My hope is that any path taken in my internal world now is one to beauty. It is my wish for all who suffer from the plague of a lifetime of abuse to eventually get to this place.

1.13.2009

Rhino helps see inner wisdom





When these rhino images began to appear, I was initially apprehensive as to their meaning. About 10 years ago an insurance commercial on television had a rhino charging a little girl in a field (the same time as I was collecting the images). At first I started to scream, but when the rhino stopped in front of the child and the little girl pet it, I burst into tears. I've since learned that the rhino was how my female inner wisdom ME first appeared to me.

Interestingly, people with a rhino totem have a heightened sense of smell. The sense of smell is symbolic of higher discrimination, spiritual idealism and higher wisdom and rhino gives all of these to their totem people. Trust your inner wisdom. Don’t look at appearance only – go beyond and trust your internal senses. Rhino will help you see the wisdom in your life.