Janie first appears as a young girl about 4 years old. Always with "Mikey".
I had an "upside down" world and both Janie and Mikey were in it. They are shown as adults in the top picture which I didn't understand until much later.
Somewhere in my vast collection of images is a picture of Mikey in an identical pose: balancing books on his head. However, Janie is "making the grade" and Mikey needs tutoring. I have a very involved memory of Mikey's "death" at age 11. Notice the pattern with Janie being "American Girl" in the next pictures.
Possibly there was frightened little Janie and 11 year old Janie. The smaller Janie is shown with a wishbone. She is now separated from Mikey. In real life, I moved at age 11 overseas with military family.
I can't tell you exactly what this means but notice how images were matched by color and symbols. "Jane Doe" has the same sign as the lower left grouping. The capitol building appears in the bottom three images. Does Jane Doe mean she is unknown or dead? She goes with government, whatever that means. Logically, I think "pushing the envelope" was literally about handing messages in envelopes or relaying messages. I also have lived in a state capitol since 1967.
I mentioned in my other blog that Mikey came up in later memories as my cousin who was born a month later than me. I have pictures of us together as infants. He claims to have no trauma memory. My belief is the image of older Jane and Mikey in the tree means we are still alive as adults...which we are.
And, as recently learned, Jane is my now completely integrated core and I am part of her. I'm the culmination of all the integrated alters who integrated into Jane last week. I don't share her subconscious memories of all of the trauma, but she is tapped into all of my conscious memories. Together, we are one Grace.
