Survivor Art Warning

Keep in mind that survivor art is not about beauty. It reveals trauma...sometimes in a subtle way. Sometimes rather graphically. The beauty, to me, is in being a witness to my own healing from the images given to me by formerly traumatized and even suicidal alters.

Please use caution in viewing this site. I'm proud to be sufficiently healed to share this art (most of which was done from 1997 to 2000). All depicted in the images have integrated. This is me when I was "we".

2.26.2011

Bailey


This was a very early collage when I began playing with textures and doing artistic sets. This is Derek Jeter who has represented a perp in my life. I didn't know that until about six years ago. He was the neighbor who took over as my handler when my parents retired and moved to another state. My earlier handmade collages of Bailey show he was prominent in my life but I didn't understand. He always is with a "propeller".

I have been in my current location since the late 60s with the exception of Air Force time. The other day I was matching my father's career locations with history of those locations as well as any CIA involvement. In the late 60s, when we first moved here, the Army base where we were stationed was known for repairing Chinook helicopters from Vietnam...especially the rotor blades! Building hangars was mentioned to house the Chinooks.

Aside from Bailey having a rotor blade as an eye, the "texture" of the art is airplane metal. I think I can safely assume that he took me to that particular Army base for missions, training, and/or programming. Since I began to heal in 1997, I know it didn't happen after that year.

And, in a moment of slapping myself on my forehead, when I realized who Bailey represented, I recalled that was the name of the street we lived on during that time. Consciously I adored him. I can only hope he was as controlled as me and it was not his nature to do harm, as it was my father's.

It was this realization that my life WAS The Truman Show. All appeared normal but was very planned and directed.

2.22.2011

222

32/50 Play nice

32/50 Play nice by grace2244 (in repair) on Polyvore.com


This set came up "accidentally" today but the message is appropriate. February 22 has been a bad day for me in my dissociated life. Words were written beneath this on Polyvore indicating some things were worth fighting for. When I recall what used to happen on this date, healing was definitely worth the painful journey and always swimming upstream.